I have definitely been an absentee blogger for the past few months. It has been a crazy several months on the baby making front along with work, coaching, and other family obligations. Here is a quick update on our infertility journey.
In my previous post seven months ago, The Road So Far, I talked about everything leading up to my last hysteroscopy and d and c in April. A month after that procedure, we had an ultrasound that gave us the all clear to begin trying again. We immediately started the highest dose of Femara for five days along with follicle stimulating shots every other day for the following six days. The goal was to stimulate my ovaries just enough so that we could do IUI (Intrauterine insemination). Too much stimulation would result in too many eggs released and ultimately an Octamom-type situation. Along with these medications, I was also started on Bromocriptine (a medication that helps regulate prolactin production in the brain) since my pituitary gland likes to over produce prolactin.
This combination of medications made for a dizzy, emotional, and nauseated Kayt… sorry Nate! I was lucky enough to have a wonderful and patient husband that not only put up with his emotionally deranged wife but he also was my nurse, administering me my shots. Most mornings at work, the world was in constant motion as I attempted to not let anyone around me notice how it all was affecting me. After about my second shot, I would sneak off the bathroom to lay on the ground (gross, I know!) in hopes I could steady the vertigo. Thank goodness by about lunch time this would wear off mostly so I could function properly!
After the full regimen of medications, I had to go in for an ever so wonderful vaginal ultrasound to count the follicle in my very angry ovaries a few days later. Our first round got an extremely disappointing, yet painful, one mature follicle in my right side and an “almost” mature one in my left. For reference, a good number to have is about three to four. Any more would be a potential for extremely multiple pregnancy (like a litter of babies.) With a not so encouraging number of follicles, our nurse went over the percentages and in a very subtle yet professionally ambiguous way let us know that our chances were not so great this time due to my body’s reaction but it was ultimately our decision to proceed.
To not waste the $400 worth of medications, we went ahead with IUI. One egg is all you need to make a baby, right? That night with only a small window of time of an hour, Nate administered my “trigger shot” to communicate with my body that it was now time to release the eggs.
*** Maybe a little TMI follows, you’ve been warned ***
The 36 hours later, we arrived nice and early for Nate’s part of the exam… incredibly awkward. While his soldiers were getting washed (a process that removes any adverse chemicals and preps them for duty) and placed in a syringe, we left to go get breakfast. An hour later, I was on an exam room table listening to a nurse awkwardly detailing how Nate’s “little swimmers” (her words, not mine) were swimming strong and straightly. The counts were great and our chances of fertilization looked good. Next, all I had to do is lay back and “relax” as a frigid speculum was inserted to allow for the nurse to jab me with a flexible catheter attached to the syringe before actually getting it to my cervix. I guess I’m a little tilted and her aim was terribly off. After the syringe was emptied all I needed to do is lay on the table for ten minutes, so gravity wouldn’t undo all of her work.
After that emotional day, all we had to do is wait to see if it all worked. The day came and went for my cycle to begin and I started feeling optimistic. Another day passed and another. Not wanting to get my hopes up I decided to wait until I was a week late before taking a pregnancy test. Four days late came and tell-tale signs began manifesting. I was devastated. I couldn’t bring myself to even verbalize it to Nate. About a day and a half later, I tearfully told Nate that it was unsuccessful. Of course, this all happened to be while up camping.
The following Monday, I started back on my medication regimen feeling pretty pessimistic. Spending over $1,000 on a failed attempt will do that to you. Once again, my supportive husband pulled me through it all.
On the day of my follicle check ultrasound, I could feel that the medications had been a little bit more effective. Two throbbing ovaries do not mix with an ultrasound… ouch! Nerves began to kick in while I waited for Dr. Gilliland to count. This time there was one really mature one and semi-matured one on my right and a mature one on the left. Three follicles. A great reaction to the medications. For the first time in a long while I felt really optimistic!
The day of our second IUI, we had to drive out to Murray (since it was a Saturday). I felt so positive and encouraged. Nate did his duty, we waited, etc. By the time I sat in the freezing exam room, my heart was pounding. Nate’s soldiers were behaving extra well. The same nurse poke assaulted me in attempt to feed the catheter through my cervix. I laid even longer on the exam table. Afraid to more and not give everything proper amount of time. All that was left was waiting.
And waiting.
A week and a half later, the old familiar pains and aches started happening. I kept telling myself that they could also be implantation symptoms. I was wrong.
That same weekend was a large family reunion in Heber with my mom’s extended family and it was a welcomed distraction. I had always said we would give IUI three tries then after that we would be done trying to get pregnant and build our family through other means. But after this attempt, I couldn’t put myself through another. After a heartfelt conversation with Nate, I admitted to myself that I could not put myself through this all again.
We began talking about fostering to adopt. We had been doing renovations on our house so we figured we should finish those before pursuing that route due to the fact that you have a home evaluation. We both felt at peace with this decision.
Summer started coming to a close. In August, one of our nieces Felicity was getting blessed. Smack dab in the middle of her blessing, the Holy Ghost hit me with a ton of bricks. I chocked back tears as the phrase, “You aren’t done trying” repeated over and over in my mind. Later that evening, I relayed everything that happened to Nate. Turns out he had been having the same felling but had been waiting for me, pessimistic Patty, to come to the same conclusions.
Since day one of us trying to conceive a baby, we said we were never going to do IVF. The costs alone were enough reason to terrify us. But for some reason, we both felt that this was the route we need to take to bring our little ones to us.
So in September, I met back up with Dr. G. to have an IVF consultation. My oldest sister, Amanda, came with me to ask the questions I wouldn’t think of asking. Both of us were impressed by the confidence that Dr. G. had in this working for me. Of course, he cannot guarantee a pregnancy.
His best plan for me is to do a full IVF cycle with 10 days for follicle stimulating shots (ouch) followed a trigger shot and retrieval of all the readied eggs. This time we are hoping for a large number of follicles. The more, the merrier! After retrieval and fertilization, each embryo will be flash frozen in liquid nitrogen. Because I am at high risk for Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS), which means I have the potential of having my ovaries stay in hyperdrive if I immediately get pregnant, I will not do a “fresh cycle.” I will have to wait a few weeks for my body to chill out. From there, each embryo that we have is a potential pregnancy. Each month I will be implanted with a developed embryo in hopes it take.
A lot to take in, right? I’m still in shock that this is all happening too. Wrapping my head around the price tag sends me into a slight panic. Luckily our family is rallying to help. The shear selflessness of everyone around us, just brings me to my knees with humility. With fundraisers and donations, it makes the roughly $20,000 price tag, a slightly smaller pill to swallow. We also are asking that if anyone that would usually buy a Christmas present for us, to donate to our fund instead.
If everything with my body and cycle stays consistent and if we qualify for financing, we will do our first cycle the first part of the new year. Prayers, crossed fingers, and good vibes will all be greatly appreciated. Here’s to bringing in the new year with hope, optimism, and hopefully a new addition to the McMurray household.
Been through IVF or other infertility treatments, I’d love to hear your story.
Have any tips, suggestions, and/or fundraising ideas, comment below.
To donate to our IVF fund:
- LipSense, Senegence, and jewelry fundraiser from Chic Geek Beauty click here or here
- Simpy Fun Games from Britney McMurray Fundraiser click here
What About Kayt 